2017/01/31

The Best Rando of 2016

Here are all of my favorite things of 2016 that don't have a place anywhere else.  Bacon is delicious.

Helion Prime

Best Album Art

Helion Prime - s/t

There's space hoomans fighting a T-Rex (named Saibot) dressed in robot space armor.  THAT IS THE AWESOMEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!  This wouldn't look out of place on the cover of a sci-fi book in the 80s.  

Honorable Mentions:
Brain Drill - Boundless Obscenity
Ghoul - Dungeon Bastards

Best Music Video

Anthrax - Blood Eagle Wings

NSFW warning!!! This music video is gory and BR00TAL!  There is an underlying message beneath all the brutality about civilization being built from violence. 

Honorable Mention:
Ghost - Square Hammer

Periphery III: Select Difficult

Best Album with a Roman Numeral in the Title

Periphery - III: Select Difficulty

Periphery III: Select Difficulty comes out only 1.5 years after their concept double album Juggernaut. With such a short album cycle, I was worried that this album would suffer. While not nearly as awesome as Juggernaut, III has some great songs on it and kicks off the album with a bang.

Honorable Mentions:
Magrudergrind - II
Lords of Black - II
Mars Red Sky - Apex III
Harakiri for the Sky - III: Trauma

Best Album Title

Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum - Pierasiakajučy Swiatlieńnie J Zmrok Dziewiaci Miraŭ Spustašęnnia Čatyroch Wymiaręńniaŭ Času J Prastoru, Spiralliu Skroź Niewiadomuju Biaskoncasć Daliokaha Kosmasu Prazrystaje Sonca Wosieni Zachodzić U Zienit Astraĺnaj Prajekcyi Kručęńnia Transcęndęntaĺnych Staŭpoŭ Swojeasabliwaści Płoskaści Analizu Niepachisnaści Iściny‘ and ‘Pašyrajučy Spiektr Suzirańnia Ękstrapaliarnaha Kantynuumu Praz Sakraĺnaje Admaŭlieńnie Tliennaje Ręčaisnaści Naciažęńnie Ęnierhietyčnych Niciej Pranizliwych Prastor Wakuumu Adukawanaha Zastoju, Skroź Pryzmu Časoŭ Dęmatęryalizuje Katęharyčny Impieratyŭ Jak Iliuzornaje Stwaręńnie Bačnasci Ruchu Pa Spirali Žyccia’. Now they’ve announced their debut album titled Prajecyrujučy Sinhuliarnaje Wypramieńwańnie Daktryny Absaliutnaha J Usiopahłynaĺnaha Zła Skroź Šaścihrannuju Pryzmu Sîn-Ahhī-Erība Na Hipierpawierchniu Zadyjakaĺnaha Kaŭčęha Zasnawaĺnikaŭ Kosmatęchničnaha Ordęna Palieakantakta, Najstaražytnyja Ipastasi Dawosiewych Cywilizacyj Prywodziać U Ruch Ręzanansny Transfarmatar Časowapadobnaj Biaskoncaści Budučyni U Ćwiardyniach Absierwatoryi Nwn-Hu-Kek-Amon, Uwasabliajučy Ŭ Ęfirnuju Matęryju Prach Ałulima Na Zachad Ad Ękzapłaniety PSRB 1620-26b

Eximperitus
Ghost Square Hammer

Best Song

Ghost - Square Hammer

Already mentioned in my Best EPs of 2016, this song is just ridiculously catchy.

Honorable Mentions:
Periphery - Marigold
Haken - 1985

Best Album That is One Song

Insomnium - Winter's Gate

It's really hard to write one album length song that actually sounds like one song, and remains interesting throughout the entirety.  Winter's Gate doesn't quite get accomplish this goal, but one song or not it's still a solid melodic death metal album.

Honorable Mentions (yes they're EPs, whatever):
Maladie - Symptoms
Gorguts - Pleiades' Dust

Insomnium - Winter's Gate
Grindmother - Age of Destruction

Best Novelty Act

The Grindmother - Age of Destruction

What may have started out as a cute one off, is now a full fledged band that is actually touring in 2017!!  This 68 year old metal AF grandmother is gimmicky sure, but she absolutely slays on vocals.

Honorable Mention:
Anal Trump - That Makes Me Smart
Mute the Saint - s/t
Bangladeafy - Narcopaloma 

Best Album that Didn't Come Out

Tool - been waiting for this one since rumors started swirling ~2014. 

Honorable Mentions:
Necrophagist
System of a Down (2017 though!!!)

Tool Interstellar

The road to Kentucky, Month 1

Kreator - Gods of Violence

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